Building the Competence to See — Reflections from Holy Cross College

Last week, I had the privilege of speaking at Holy Cross College in Notre Dame, Indiana. A few months ago, Dr. Marco Clark, the university’s president, read Leading With Light, a book I co-wrote and published last year. Dr. Marco reached out to say the ideas in the book resonated with him and invited me to speak to his class, Leading the Holy Cross Way, an elective that invites community and national leaders to share their experiences. 

As the date for my talk approached, I started preparing a conversation around the book — the core framework it outlines, and a few key lessons I thought would be interesting to share.

I probably would have continued with that approach if not for a dinner the week before with Dr. Clark, his wife, and some mutual friends. Our friends asked him to share more about Holy Cross, its teachings, and what compelled him to move from Texas to our community.

As I listened, I realized I really didn’t know much about the college. And further, I was about to break the advice I often give my clients, which is to start by listening instead of talking. Rather than asking the class to fit my ideas into their experience, I realized I wanted to begin with their experience and bring my perspective to it.

I came home, scrapped the slides I had drafted, and dove into reading more about Holy Cross, its founding, and its approach. It took me about ten seconds to find the Holy Cross College mission — and when I read it, I knew I had my theme.

The school’s mission is simple but profound:

“To educate and form global citizens with the competence to see and the courage to act.”

That single sentence became the foundation for everything I wanted to share. It’s a nice framing, too, as most of leadership — and life — comes down to those two capacities: seeing clearly, and then acting with intent.

Seeing Starts With Listening

We often think of “seeing” as a physical act — something we do with our eyes. But the kind of seeing that matters most is internal. 

Seeing starts with listening. When we stop talking long enough to notice what’s going on inside us — our feelings, our patterns, even our distractions — we begin to recognize what’s guiding our choices.

One of the slides in the presentation put it this way:

“God is talking to you. Stop interrupting.”

Seeing clearly isn’t something that happens all at once. It’s something we practice. We get better at it every time we slow down, disconnect from our personal narratives, and really pay attention — not just to what’s happening around us, but to what’s happening within us.

Learning from Ourselves

I invited the group to pause and reflect:

• When was the last time you were so engaged in something that you lost track of time?
• When was the last time you laughed until you cried?
• When was the last time peace came over you for no reason at all?

Engagement, joy, and contentment are clues — signposts that help us see where we’re most alive and most aligned with our purpose.

When you pay attention to these emotions, you start to find your way home to yourself. 

Choosing Our Thoughts

We talked, too, about the powerful relationship between how we feel and what we think.

Most of us view thoughts as the result of actions or events, like sensations of indigestion or fullness that result from eating different foods.

We see ourselves at the receiving end of situations, people, and circumstances, which provide us with things to think about.

For example, we may hold a belief about stress:

I have too much to do -> So I am stressed -> And in response, I need to buckle down, work hard, and get things done.

Could be. 

But what if thoughts are the food? What if thoughts are the stimulus, not the response? And what if emotions are nature’s way of pointing you to the quality of your thinking?

I experience feelings of stress -> Which is my body's way of telling me I’m grinding too hard and losing perspective -> So I listen and step away from work -> I regain clarity and am more optimistic again.

When you realize emotions are indicators of the quality of your thinking, you begin to appreciate your emotions as key awareness tools.

• I feed myself thoughts of overwhelm –> and I feel stress.
• I feed myself thoughts of scarcity –> and I feel lack.
• I feed myself thoughts about how unlovable I am –> and I feel alone.
• I feed myself thoughts about how broken the world is –> and I feel despair.
• I feed myself thoughts that nothing can change –> and I feel apathy.

Or:

• I feed myself thoughts that my worth is not based on the quantity of my output –> and I feel able to rest.
• I feed myself thoughts about my life of abundance –> and I feel gratitude.
• I feed myself thoughts about how connected we are –> and I feel loved.
• I feed myself thoughts of the beauty of the world –> and I feel hope.
• I feed myself thoughts that one person can make a difference ->
  and I find courage.

The Courage Finds You

And see? We’ve gone from "the competence to see" to "the courage to act." Once we build the competence to see, the courage to act finds us.

I hear from so many people who are saddened to feel they live in an unpredictable, out-of-control, chaotic world — but ironically, they have abdicated their only agency: the agency over their own thinking.

Leave behind the useless model that you must get different results to feel different emotions. You will not be “happier when …”! Happier when you pass the test, happier when you find someone new, happier when the election is over, happier when whatever happens that you think controls your experience.

Instead, be happy now! Change your thinking -> Cultivate more helpful emotions -> Get different results.

Once you stop feeding yourself garbage thinking, you will find the motivation and inspiration to create the world you imagine right now.

Why It Matters for Purpose-Driven Leaders

I closed with one of my favorite passages from Buddhist monk and writer Pema Chödrön:

Spiritual awakening is frequently described as a journey to the top of a mountain. At the peak, we have transcended all pain.
The only problem with this metaphor is that we leave all others behind. Their suffering continues, unrelieved by our personal escape.

The path goes down, not up, as if the mountain pointed toward the earth instead of the sky. Instead of transcending the suffering of all creatures, we move toward turbulence and doubt however we can.

I love this point. Our job as leaders isn't to act with character so we rise above all others and leave them behind. Our call is to find character in ourselves and others, and walk forward, together. 

In that way, seeing isn’t passive. It’s a choice — to stay awake, to stay kind, to stay engaged, even when the world feels overwhelming or unfair.

That’s what I witnessed at Holy Cross — students, faculty, and leaders trying to live that mission in real time. People choosing to see the world as it is, and to act on what they know is possible.

At More For Many, we talk about helping our clients multiply their purpose. But before we can multiply anything, we have to see it — clearly, honestly, and with compassion. Whether you’re leading a nonprofit, a business, or a family, your work begins with perception. What you choose to see determines what you decide to build.

If you’re feeling uncertain in your work or your world, maybe that’s not a sign to push harder. 

Maybe it’s an invitation to pause and see things differently.